Anger is a normal emotion that is necessary and positive at times to motivate us toward making change and help us recognize when our values are being violated . But when it is out of control, it can create problems at work, in relationships, and in your personal health and well-being.
THROUGH OUR WORK IN ANGER MANAGEMENT WE HELP YOU TO RECOGNIZE AND UNDERSTAND:
The benefits and purposes of anger: Anger can motivate us to make positive change, it can help us recognize the need for boundaries and personal limits.
Anger as a Secondary Emotion: Often anger is an emotion that covers up other more vulnerable emotions including sadness, fear, pain, and anxiety.
Events and Cues: You can learn to recognize events, behaviors, or situations that trigger your anger in order to avoid them or be prepared to handle them effectively.
The Aggression Cycle: Anger is an emotion, but your body experiences a physiological process when you are triggered; understanding this process can help you to be mindful and interrupt the cycle before things get out of control.
Cognitive Restructuring: Anger is largley precipitated by our thoughts and by challenging distorted thought patterns we can avoid many issues caused by un-helpful anger.
Assertiveness and the Conflict Resolution Model: We all have to deal with difficult situations and difficult people and being able to calmly and assertively manage conflict is not only a helpful way to avoid destructive behaviors, but also an invaluable life skill.
Anger and the Family: In many cases anger that has become problematic has roots to older issues such as negative dynamics in the family of origin, past trauma, and other factors that we may not even think about regularly. Understanding these roots can help us to be more mindful and keep our brains in the present to more effectively manage our emotions and thoughts.
A NOTE FOR INDIVIDUALS WITH COURT ORDERS TO SEEK ANGER MANAGEMENT
Our Anger Management Sessions follow basic guidelines established by the DHS. While many courts require anger management workshops or classes, this requirement can usually be satisfied by working one on one with our counselors following this general curriculum. If you are unsure whether this would satisfy your requirements check with your probation officer, case manager, or legal consultant. We provide summary letters of treatment and/or records upon request and completion of the program with accounts paid in full.
What about my family of origin?
Beyond asking questions to better understand your early childhood experiences and perceptions, we also use a tool called the genealogy to look for patterns and relationships that shaped your beliefs. The genealogy is a visual way of mapping out your family that can span several generations. Through it we can see intergenerational patterns in relationships and even genetic lines related to mental conditions like depression, chemical dependency, and the like.
What are Early Recollections and why do they matter?
We all have those odd memories from our childhood that we remember and wonder, why do I remember that moment? Children are great perceivers, but not always great at understanding the world around them. Every individual understands what they experience differently. Consider the following example.
Four-year-old, Tommy, see’s his dad yell at his momafter receiving the credit card bill one month. Based on his personality and the way he has interpreted other life events he could develop or confirm a variety of different beliefs.
Maybe Tommy decides that ‘women are irresponsible and can’t be trusted with money’. Maybe he decides that ‘relationships always involve yelling’. Maybe ‘Men are bullies’ and he feels bad about himself when he displays any ‘male traits’ such as anger. Maybe he believes that ‘all couples have bad moments, but it is possible to work through them.’ Maybe he develops fear about money because, ‘money is the root of conflict in relationships.’
Obviously, some of Tommy’s possible beliefs have more potential to be damaging in his life and relationships than others, but until he identifies and addresses these beliefs he may feel stuck and unsure of why he feels or reacts the way he does when triggered by something.
Adlerian therapists believe that we unconsciously hold onto certain memories based on the beliefs we developed that we want to remind ourselves of. Other theories like Cognitive Behavioral Approaches have discovered this phenomenon as well and they refer to it as confirmation bias. Confirmation bias (also referred to as confirmatory bias and cognitive bias) refers to the tendency we all have to interpret and recall information in a way that confirms our preexisting beliefs.
So the next time little Tommy sees his parents argue–even if it is an unrelated issue—he’s more likely to interpret the interaction as confirmation of his belief.
Early recollections are simply a technique in which we dissect early childhood memories to identify your core beliefs.